Wednesday, February 18, 2009

FAIL

"I said, 'Good morning, welcome to the Crystal Cathedral.' " She asked the man, "Where are you from?" He replied, "Oh, from around here." He handed Spicer a folded note written in Magic marker. Tucked into the middle of the note was his driver's license and what appeared to be a business card. As he was walking down the aisle, she began reading the note, which referred to a truck in the parking lot and a gun.

"The next minute, there was a pop," Spicer said. "I thought he was praying. I didn't realize he had shot himself."

Yvette Manson, a volunteer usher, said she was talking to the tourists when she heard a shot that she likened to a firecracker. "I had just been telling them about the suicide prevention ministry we have."

18 comments:

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

How does praying sound like a pop?

Righteous Bubba said...

It's the "just got borned" noise, a direct result of eating up a kernel of knowledge.

tigris said...

How does praying sound like a pop?

SOMEzombie's never been around kneeling old folks, has he?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I resemble that remark, tigris.

plus: the verification word is 'braine'

Blogger is getting squirrely.

herr doktor bimler said...

How does praying sound like a poop?
Well what does praying sound like? Around here it makes a vulgar farty noise, on account of all the whoopee cushions placed in strategic places by godless heathens.

Captcha word = "fectum". No way am I going to look that up.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

"IT fifth grade", RB?

You DO KNOW I am a grammar and spelling zombie, don't you?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

"fectum? damn near married 'em!"

Righteous Bubba said...

What comment where? I DO NOT SEE ONE.

In any case, I had a friend in fifth grade whose knees crackled like a fire when he did exercises. It was fun.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

IT IS A MYSTERY!!!

Righteous Bubba said...

Probably involves time travel or something.

tigris said...

We wioll have been havening our eye on you.

Righteous Bubba said...

Please let me know where I am going to lose my keys.

herr doktor bimler said...

If it was the key of E, it belonged to the people anyway.

Another Kiwi said...

Woke up this mornin'
Yes I woke up this mornin'
And my keys have done gone away
Keys done gone and left me,
Except if this is yesterday and my keys are lost in the damn future, anyway

Righteous Bubba said...

When the moon disappears forever
And the sun shines electric blue
And the mountains and trees tumble into the sea
To rest there for eternity
No matter what you do
I will still blame you

herr doktor bimler said...

Probable-Possible, my black hen,
Stole my keys in the Relative When.
She can't bring them back to the Positive Now
Because she's unable to postulate how.

Righteous Bubba said...

There once was a lady named Bright
Who travelled much faster than light
She set out one day
In a relative way
And was eaten by Morlocks.

Another Kiwi said...

Quite oft upon my couch I lie,
Giving vacant and or pensive sighs.
Because my keys have gone from eye.
An email comes from late next week
Typed by a hen, using her beak
The keys are inside a Jurassic beast
Last seen in Montana, kind of east.